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That ’ s still a “ My Way ” vs “ Your Way ” model . It ’ s still Demand Relationship™ . It still leaves us with kerfuffles when we don ’ t want to compromise .
For instance , one of you wants to be a disciplinarian with your kids and the other one wants to take a more gentle approach . Now what ? No one wants to compromise and it starts to feel like there ’ s just no solution .
There is absolutely a solution . It ’ s just a skill set that was never taught .
Marriage , family , households … we need to design alignment in all of these areas through collaboration .
INTENTIONAL ALIGNMENT
Alignment doesn ’ t just happen . It doesn ’ t matter how great your relationship is — you have to deliberately design alignment .
We all have expectations for our partners . But if you don ’ t talk about them or give your partner a chance to contribute , it WILL lead to conflict .
This happens a lot with stay-at-home parents . You decide together that one of you needs to stay home with the baby . But what you don ’ t create alignment about is how that ’ s actually going to work .
FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS
The partner who stays at home wants the working partner to come home and help with the baby , while the working partner views that as the stay-at-home parent ’ s job .
It ’ s not that either person is “ right .” The problem is that they never aligned their expectations . They have no way of seeing the other person ’ s perspective until it starts to play itself out .
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