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• Test reality. Is it true if you say no to your sister when she asks you to work for free in her store, she’ ll never speak to you again? Is it true that if you stop trading your coaching services for inferior admin help you will be overwhelmed and die? Take one fear of the disaster and do something different – say no, ask for what you want, etc. Note in writing- what was the actual result?
• Get used to saying,“ Let me get back to you.” Make a list of all the reasons you must do this. Then go down the list asking,“ Is that true?”• Deepen your practice of self-trust. When faced with a decision or choice, ask yourself before you ask anyone else,“ What do I think? What do I want?” We develop self-trust by checking in with ourselves( a key part of the Life Organizing practice from my book and app), taking action on our best guess, and then asking,“ What do I know now?“ We do not develop self-trust by saying,“ Obviously, I can’ t trust myself because I thought X was the right choice and it wasn’ t.” That’ s not self-trust, that’ s being a psychic.
• Learn your over-providing triggers. Exhaustion? Criticism? Being shamed? When you know your triggers, you may still over-provide but you’ ll know why, and in time, that makes it easier to stop.
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