Feb/Mar 2026 Aspire Magazine FULL Issue | Page 96

• Forget hard and fast rules. Some situations call for over-giving for a period of time. When my dad was dying, it was important to over-provide for him. When I moved my mom into assisted living because of her Alzheimer’ s, it was good to fuss over her for a couple of weeks. The guideline? Are you checking in with yourself? Are you choosing mindfully? If you want to give more, are you capable of doing so without hurting yourself?

• Yes, avoiding over-providing is a privileged problem. The woman in sub- Saharan Africa who spends two hours walking one-way to gather muddy water doesn’ t get to choose how much she gives. And that isn’ t an argument for you to be a martyr. Instead, become a force of love and balance in the world in hopes that one day all people can choose an emotionally and physically sustainable life.

It’ s tempting to get your kicks from being everything to everybody. It can be hard to believe there is another way and, once you see your pattern, you also see how overproviding is a less than truthful existence. It keeps you from giving birth to your truest life.

Seeing that, painful as it can be, will motivate you to listen and choose the middle way – a little me, a little them – more often.

Jennifer Louden- Jennifer Louden is the best-selling author of The Life Organizer: A Woman’ s Guide to a Mindful Year, The Woman’ s Comfort Book, Why Bother? Discover the Desire for What’ s Next, and many others. Jennifer is a personal coach and cultural visionary, harnessing her extraordinary ability to recognize women’ s comfort as both a fundamental need and an innate desire. Learn more at https:// jenniferlouden. com.