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caring at all about Tammy – he just wanted what he wanted. He felt entitled to be angry at her and try to make her feel guilty when she didn’ t give in to his demands. For Tammy, this was a crazy-making situation. Being labeled as selfish when it was really Frank who was being selfish is crazy-making.
It is important for each of us to define selfishness and selfresponsibility for ourselves so that we are not dependent upon others’ definition of us.
When, through your own inner work, you become secure in knowing that you not only have the right, but the responsibility, to support your own joy and highest good – with no intent to harm another – then you will not be tempted to give yourself up when someone tells you that you are selfish for not doing what he or she wants you to do. When we are secure in knowing that our own intent is to be loving to ourselves and to others, we do not have to manipulate others into defining us as caring by giving ourselves up.
Not only is self-care not selfish, but it is also the most loving thing you can do for yourself and others.
One of the greatest gifts we can give to our loved ones as well as to the world is our own happiness. Our happiness takes the burden off of our spouses, parents, children and friends to try to make us happy. People who love us – rather than people who just want to use us – want us to be happy and if we are not taking responsibility for our own happiness, then others might feel responsible for us. So, taking loving care of yourself and making yourself happy is the opposite of selfish!
Our happiness also contributes much to our planet.
Our happiness, peace and joy have a very high frequency, and therefore contribute to raising the overall frequency of our planet. In fact, I believe that our true happiness contributes more to our planet than anything else we can contribute! Imagine what our world would be like if everyone took responsibility for their own happiness and wellbeing! Since harming others never creates happiness and inner peace, our world would become a peaceful place if we each took responsibility for our own happiness and well-being by choosing to learn to love ourselves.
This article first appeared in the June / July 2016 issue of Aspire Magazine.
DR. MARGARET PAUL- DR. MARGARET PAUL is a bestselling author of 12 published books, a relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding ® self-healing process. She has appeared on numerous radio and television shows, including Oprah, and has successfully worked with hundreds of thousands and taught classes and seminars around the world for over 54 years. Margaret is a member of the Transformational Leadership Council. Learn more at www. InnerBonding. com
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