Oct/Nov 2025 Aspire Magazine Full Issue | Page 80

THE THREE OUTS

1. LASH OUT We blame, criticize, or try to control others to ease our discomfort.

2. NUMB OUT We turn to numbing agents like scrolling, shopping, wine, weed, sugar, or even busyness to dull the edge of the emotion.

3. CHECK OUT We disconnect entirely, becoming cold or distant, avoiding vulnerability by staying in the head and being‘ logic’.

Each of these“ outs” is a form of selfprotection. They are ways we try to escape feeling the tender, unprocessed emotional energy of an emotional trigger.

All three outs serve one purpose: to avoid feeling that awful feeling again. But healing doesn’ t happen by going out— it happens by coming back in.

WHAT TO DO INSTEAD

True healing begins when we choose not to escape the feeling of contracted energy but instead feel it and imagine holding it with loving presence, praying for Divine Light to help dissolve the contraction:

Breathe and acknowledge: Place a hand on your body where the triggered energy is showing up. Say to this contracted place inside:“ I am here, I’ ve got you.”

Describe it:“ I feel a tight knot in my gut, a lump in my throat,” or whatever you’ re sensing.

Give it Loving Presence: Don’ t try to fix it or solve it— just lovingly hold it and be with it like you would a scared child.

Invite in The Divine: I like to pray,“ God, Divine Presence, Universe, please, bring Loving Light into this pain.”

When Megyn stayed in this manner with the contracted sensation in her body rather than spiraling into rage at her sister, she began to soften. The sadness underneath the anger rose to the surface. A bit choked up, she said,“ You know what? Being sweet is not so bad.”