for being human , and instead judge , criticize , and hold ourselves to impossibly high standards . At the same time , we are encouraging , understanding , and supportive to our family members , friends , and colleagues . We easily extend compassion and kindness to them , but struggle to demonstrate that same compassion and kindness to ourselves . Our critical self-talk runs on autopilot and continually undermines our confidence and belief in ourselves . And if we make a mistake or don ’ t live up to our high standards , our judgmental and critical inner voice gets very loud increasing our anxiety about the mistake . We might even start thinking that we are a mistake . This creates a negative feedback loop as we blame and shame ourselves for making the mistake , then criticizing ourselves about it , and then feeling bad . The suffering we cause ourselves by treating ourselves so poorly is heartbreaking . If you have ever witnessed someone you love beating themselves up for a mistake you know how painful it is and yet we do this same thing to ourselves daily .

What I have learned from cultivating a selfnurturing practice is that we have the power to unlearn these unkind ways of being with ourselves . We can invite in self-compassion to be the salve on our own broken hearts . We can recognize that self-compassion is a critical way to transform our inner critic into our inner mentor , sharing wisdom and insights instead of the constant negative feedback . Over time , we will respond to ourselves with kindness and tenderness and can stay curious about the challenging parts of ourselves instead of rejecting them . With self-compassion we can begin to love and accept ourselves and embrace our humanity with loving kindness . Self-compassion is

– BELL HOOKS

contagious as it inspires others to respond to themselves with more kindness , and it radiates out to all we interact with creating a more compassionate world .

As with all self-nurturing practices , developing self-compassion will take practice and commitment . On this journey of befriending ourselves , self-compassion is an essential companion as we learn to be more loving and kinder to ourselves . I like to remind myself and my clients that this journey of self-nurturing is about progress not perfection and it has become my selfcompassion mantra . The more I have woven self-compassion into my life , the more nurturing and kinder I have become to myself . Self-compassion is healing and

HEALTH & WELLNESS