BY NICOLE KALIL

Maybe it’ s the person you love or one of your best friends. Maybe it’ s the bully who made fun of you, or a complete stranger you meet at a bar after work. Maybe it’ s your boss, who has it hidden in their desk drawer and is waiting to present it to you alongside your promotion. Maybe it’ s your parents, and they’ ve been secretly withholding it from you this whole time.

All you have to do is figure out who has it, like some incessant game of Where’ s Waldo. But once you find it, you still have to prove yourself worthy— the right clothes, the right job, the right house, the right marriage, or the right number on the scale— and they’ ll hand it over so you can finally feel good about yourself.