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Does it sometimes feel like no matter what you do or what falls out of your mouth , it ’ s met with criticism and complaints ( or eyerolls and disdain ) from your partner ?
Maybe you ’ re exhausted from the constant bickering over the littlest things … or worse , you ’ re dealing with the silence of not talking to each other .
If so , the stress and pain caused by that lack of harmony in your home can start to wear you down .
Sure , you can use escapes to try and cope . You can dive into other things to get a break from it all . You can even invent a reason to take the kids away for a night because their grandma misses them .
The problem is , none of that helps with the bickering . Even if it does stop , there ’ s still a general sense of “ I ’ m mad at you ” hanging in the air .
Unfortunately , most people don ’ t know endless arguing is caused by two dynamics colliding ( more on that in a minute ).
When they find themselves in the phase of what my husband , Paul , and I call “ relationship decay ,” they reach a point in their day where they think to themselves , “ How much longer can I live like this ?”
It ’ s a tough moment . I was there myself over 20 years ago ( though I can remember it like it was yesterday ).
What I ’ ve learned from being in that moment and helping thousands and thousands of people through it is that the “ tougher ” you
are or the more “ caring ” you are , the longer you ’ ll push yourself through the crap before you ’ re willing to face that haunting question .
But when you finally allow yourself to think about it , it means you ’ ve arrived at the onset of hopelessness . It ’ s a scary place to be , especially because as humans , we don ’ t make our best decisions from the onset of hopelessness .
Beware the “ it will be better ” fantasy
Most people who ’ ve fallen into hopelessness start entertaining thoughts that maybe the best thing they can do is give themselves and their kids the relief of not seeing their spouse anymore .
The problem is , that thought is actually pure fantasy , because your spouse will see their kids all the time , which means that you will still see your spouse all the time .
( And if you ask anyone who has been divorced , it only gets worse .)
You know that you don ’ t really want to drag
FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS
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