Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Oct/Nov2019 Aspire Magazine | Page 57

BREATHING ROOM H BY FELICIA BAUCOM ave you ever felt guilty about canceling plans or not responding to your best friend’s text message? You shouldn’t, but most women put so much pressure on themselves to do more that saying ‘no’ often feels like failure. But taking mental breaks to refill your cup and reduce your chances of burning out isn’t defeat — rather, it’s an investment in your body and mind that can make you more successful than a continuous chain of ‘yesses’ ever could. The trick is getting the people around you to realize that taking a little breathing room is normal, healthy, and necessary. To set effective boundaries, you need to strike the right balance of being polite yet assertive so you don’t risk ruining relationships. This is a complex issue for many people, because our society prizes selflessness and abhors selfishness, effectively setting one way of being against the other. “The alternatives are either to love others, which is a virtue, or to love oneself, which is a sin,” wrote social scientist and philosopher Erich Fromm, in his essay titled “Selfishness and Self- Love.” While few people would argue about being considerate of others, it could be worthwhile to 57 4 Ways to Communicate that You Need a Little