Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Oct/Nov2019 Aspire Magazine | Page 55

permission to say no to what did not bring me joy, in order to truly embrace yes for what did. This practice felt deeply nurturing and honored my desire to still be of service, but from a profoundly authentic place - a place where I was nourished by my giving and more discerning about where and when I gave my precious time and energy. Imagine giving yourself permission to answer yes only to those things that bring you joy and an empowered no to what does not. For a moment, think about something you have been feeling unsure about saying yes to and ask yourself if this activity would bring you joy? If the answer is no - then your answer is no. If the answer is yes, then embrace the yes! What I love about this self-nurturing practice is that it is less about the no and more about saying yes to joy. When we have prioritized other people’s needs and feelings over our own it can be difficult to know what brings us joy. The wonderful thing is, the more you ask yourself this question the clearer you will become about what brings you joy. In the process of cultivating the art of saying no, I found a few statements helpful: let me get back to you with my answer; I am flattered you thought of me but I am not available; thank you but not at this time. I stopped giving excuses about why I could not do something and started saying no as complete sentence. I gave myself permission to only say yes if I really wanted to and over time became more and more comfortable saying no. I can now flex my no muscle at any time without feeling guilty or selfish because I know I am giving from a filled up, open hearted, and generous place rather than from obligation. I learned the art of saying no gave me space to get clear about what I wanted to invite into my life. In the process I have become more self-aware, self-compassionate, and empowered, giving myself permission to change my mind if I want to. And the beautiful thing is, I have so much more energy to give when I embrace yes, and the activities I say yes to become nurturing and enriching. Viewing this practice through the lens of being an art form reminds me I do not have to be perfect. Instead I am committed to being mindful and aware when I say yes and no. Over time the practice has become part of how I protect and express my authentic self and I no longer judge myself through the lens of how much I do. It has allowed me to detach my identity from my roles and responsibilities and prioritize what I need. 55 Imagine giving yourself permission to answer yes only to those things that bring you joy and an empowered no to what does not.