Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Oct/Nov 2017 Aspire Mag Full Issue: Feminine Wisdo | Page 75

alone, some for the very first time. Several expressed it felt like being kicked to the curb, just being disposed of. This confirms how slow the recovery process is for women who truly loved their husbands. Even if they asked for the divorce, it did not diminish the loss they felt afterwards. Not to mention the drastic life style changes that occurred. Allow yourself to feel the loss you have experienced. Many women describe it like it is a death. In fact, it is. It is the death of your expectations on how you were going to live your life. Your life has been turned upside down. The women I spoke to still felt discomfort but when I encouraged them to speak about it they were not afraid to express it. I proposed an experiment of redefining the divorce experience and to uncover the courage they had to go through it. To tap into their survivor mode rather than being the victim. I gave them three mindful questions which would extract positive responses from an otherwise devastating situation. I could hear in their voices that their answers started to shift them energetically almost immediately. • Kids • Good organizational skills • Courage to leave • Advocated for herself and her children. Some are still struggling with trying to forgive their cheating husbands. There was still a lot of anger towards their husband for breaking the family apart. Out of the second more specific criteria group I interviewed, only one had established a new relationship. Not only were they broken-hearted, but they were still reluctant to start dating. They didn’t want to leave themselves open for any more disappointment. Underneath it all there were definite trust issues remaining. 1. LIST THE TWO MOST POSITIVE THINGS TO COME OUT OF YOUR MARRIAGE? Here are some of the replies. 2. WHAT ARE YOU PROUD OF THAT HAVE YOU ACCOMPLISHED SINCE YOUR DIVORCE? • Recognized a need for more education • Started working with a coach • Created a financial budget and started real fiscal responsibility • Stepped into a new career with higher pay 3. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE POTENTIAL OF YOUR FUTURE? • Optimistic • Hoping to find a new partner • Wanted to get better jobs/careers • Realize they did all they c ould in their marriage- releasing the guilt and feeling of being a failure. • Going to start doing more things for themselves. What all of this proved to me is that these women are very resilient. If they are given the right tools, education and support, they are willing to start over. LET’S TALK ABOUT THOSE TOOLS AND WHICH ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT ONES... 75