Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Oct/Nov 2017 Aspire Mag Full Issue: Feminine Wisdo | Page 72

Are You Abandoning Yourself? BY DR. MARGARET PAUL W hen we think about abandonment, we generally think about being left by someone. But abandonment is about leaving someone we are responsible for – a child or an old or sick person who cannot take care of themselves and whom we have agreed to take care of. As a healthy adult, another adult can leave you, but they cannot abandon you, since they likely have not agreed to be responsible for you. It might seem strange to you, but, as a healthy adult, when you feel abandoned by someone, it is not actually about them. It is about having abandoned yourself. Most people don’t think about how they abandon themselves because they don’t recognize that they are responsible for themselves – physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, relationally and organizationally. Sometimes we abandon ourselves in one area and take responsibility for ourselves in 72 another area. For example, you might work hard to make a good living and have learned how to manage your money, which means that you are taking financial responsibility. But you might be abandoning yourself physically by eating poorly, not getting exercise and not getting enough sleep. When this is the case, you are physically abandoning yourself. Or perhaps you take organizational responsibility by being on time and keeping your environment neat and clean, but you abandon yourself relationally by giving yourself up and/or not speaking up for yourself. One of the most common ways that many people abandon themselves is emotionally. Most people don’t realize that they are responsible for learning to lovingly manage their feelings. Few of us had good role models for managing our painful feelings in ways that support our highest good. Instead, we learned many dysfunctional ways of avoiding our feelings. www.AspireMAG.net | October / November 2017