Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Oct/Nov 2017 Aspire Mag Full Issue: Feminine Wisdo | Page 27

with the expanded dimension of our being, and the being of another. The practice of compassion involves empathy, which leads to a relationship between equals, rather than sympathy, which leads to a hierarchical relationship in which one person feels sorry for the other. To be empathic toward others, even those who are mean, deceitful, or hurtful, requires that we open our hearts and feel compassion for ourselves, dissolving the walls we have erected around our hearts for self-protection. Vulnerability lays the groundwork for empathy. Science has demonstrated that humanity is united by empathy, a phenomenon that has been observed in children as young as one year of age. Research shows that, when we feel compassion, the most sophisticated thought centers in our brains light up, indicating that we are hardwired to be compassionate toward others. Compassion brings our brain into harmony with the vibration of love from our heart center. Therefore, the more compassionate we are with ourselves, the more our capacity for empathy increases so we can respond to the emotional needs of others. Being compassionate toward others, however, does not require us to engage in any unhealthy physical or emotional experiences they may be having. In fact, compassion requires that we remove ourselves from their physical process, and instead support from a place where we feel stable and empowered. We can communicate that we love a person while still refusing to play a part in their drama. For instance, when someone wants to vent about a particular issue, we can listen with an open heart but still refrain from taking on their negativity, giving unsolicited advice, or trying to fix the situation. This allows us to provide loving support yet remain calm, nonreactive, and nonjudgmental. Empathy is compassion in action. When someone is stuck in a dark hole, empathy is empowering them by offering a hand, and supporting them while they find a way to get themselves out. By contrast, sympathy is jumping into the dark hole with them and commiserating about how bad it is in the hole. To hold the space of love and release any negative energies, you can practice these five steps of compas- sionate detachment: Retreat: If you’ve ever attended a gathering or shared an office with an energy bully, you may have felt your eyes get heavy, sleepy, or dry, noticed your mood shifting from positive to negative, or suddenly become irritated or agitated. It’s important when you feel these symptoms that you pause, check in with 27 Practicing compassionate detachment shows us a broader, more spiritual perspective on life .