Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Oct/Nov 2016 Aspire Mag Full Issue | Page 70

LEARNING TO RECOGNIZE OUR OWN INTERNAL EXPERIENCE AND THEN SETTING BOUNDARIES IN A WAY THAT HONORS OUR INTERNAL EXPERIENCE, HELPS US SOLIDIFY OUR SENSE OF SELF WITH THE EXTERNAL WORLD. HERE ARE 5 REASONS: #1 – They give you a sense of self Being enmeshed can be very stressful, draining, and overwhelming. Relationships can easily get “messy” and a person can feel like they have no control over themselves or anything in their lives. As a result, a person’s natural tendency would then be to try to control other people, which is codependent. When we don’t have boundaries in our lives it implies that we don’t have a solid sense of self. We will tend to take on other people’s thoughts, feelings, ideas, beliefs, and values rather than to have our own. This is commonly referred to as enmeshment. When we are enmeshed with another person it means that there is no distinct boundary between you and another person. There is very little sense as to where one person ends and the other begins. One or both people will then have difficulty identifying their own unique individual experience and how it differs from the other person. When this is present, it implies difficulty in differentiation from a parent in early childhood. This doesn’t mean that it is “good” or “bad,” as it is quite common for most people to have experienced it at least somewhat in their development. 70 Learning to recognize our own internal experience and then setting boundaries in a way that honors our internal experience, helps us solidify our sense of self with the external world. It also helps create less stress and more balance in our relationships. www.AspireMAG.net | October / November 2016