Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Jun/July 2019 Aspire Magazine FULL Issue | Page 73
change something about yourself, everyone
else has the same prerogative.
FORGIVENESS
When contemplating whether to forgive or
not forgive, base your decision on whether
it will help you. Forgiving does not mean
you condone or excuse the behavior. It does
not mean you need to let the person know
you forgive him or her. And it doesn’t mean
you are going to forget what happened and
will not have feelings about it. It means you
have found your own personal way in which
to accept the reality of what happened, to let
go, manage its impact on your life, and move
forward. Forgiving is entirely up to you, and
you should do it if it feels right and will be
helpful to you.
BEING VULNERABLE
One of the underpinnings of what makes us
feel vulnerable in romantic relationships is
the idea that we are not good enough or
worthy enough. It is critical that you banish
this idea from your mind and repeat to
yourself daily that you are enough and that
you are worthy. You must always be looking
You are in no way required to be vulnerable
to anyone who has not earned the right to
receive it. It happens slowly and gradually as
the building blocks get stacked in a mutual
relationship (with anyone — romantic or
platonic). As your sense of safety and your
trust grow, vulnerability will follow.
SOME FINAL THOUGHTS
Finding love—a peaceful, secure love—is
one of the most awesome and rewarding
experiences you can have during your life-
time. However, many of us do not understand
how to find it or, worse, find ourselves in
repetitive, painful patterns in our search
for love. When we find ourselves in such a
place, we try our best to make it better, make
changes, or do things differently. Yet we
often don’t know how or even why we keep
finding ourselves in these spots again and
again. We wander aimlessly in our search
for solutions.
Finding love is a fallible endeavor. Love itself
is far from perfect, and it is not the cure for
all your troubles. Even if you have found “the
one,” you will have some ups and downs,
some bumps in the road to navigate. This
is why you want to choose your partner
carefully. You want someone who won’t
bail or fall apart when the bumps are hit,
especially if you have chosen to commit to
this person.
Love requires vulnerability, risk-taking, and
a tolerance for uncertainty. The person you
have chosen to love (and who has chosen
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When you stop trying to control someone
else, you empower yourself in ways you may
not have expected. You can shift that energy
onto something that is changeable. In some
situations, you may begin to recognize
aspects of yourself that you wish to change
instead. You will no longer be deflecting
outward but looking inward. When you
stop controlling others, you will likely start
focusing on what the actual problem is (and
it won’t be what you thought it was) and find
that you can effectively solve it.
for the proof, however small, that this is
true. We tend to do the opposite, and it’s
not the least bit helpful to our human spirits
and souls.