Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Dec/Jan 2018 Aspire Mag Full Issue: Taking Time fo | Page 87
EXPERT
BY BRYNA RENÉ HAYNES
I
have a confession
to make. I used to really, REALLY crave
approval. I wanted so badly to be recognized
for being awesome at what I did, and for
the contributions I made―and it hurt to the
core of my soul when that didn’t happen.
For me, this longing never morphed into
debilitating
people-pleasing
behavior
(unless you count going WAY over the top
for my clients, which I did and still do). Nor
did I ever voice my need to be recognized,
or talk myself up. Instead, my longing to
be valued quietly turned to resentment,
bitterness, and envy. My pity party went like
this: I was good at what I did, dammit. I was
as good as, or better
than, many of those so-
called experts who were raking
in all the money, stage time, and clients.
So, why weren’t people seeing me? Why
weren’t they raving about MY work, and MY
worth? What was wrong with me?
I recognize now that I was waiting for the
Expert Fairy. I was waiting for someone more
magical and powerful than me to come along,
wave a twinkly wand over my head, and
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