Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) DEC 2016 / JAN 2017 Aspire Mag Full Issue A Miracl | Page 85
FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS
DATING AFTER DIVORCE IS
A JOURNEY OF TRUST.
Dating after divorce is a journey of trust. Every
time I’ve tried to date or have a relationship
I was a mess in the beginning stages. I
was filled with anxiety, helplessness and
powerlessness. I met this guy years ago;
let’s call him David. When I met David I was
living in Ibiza, Spain. We were in romance
bliss, but that didn’t last.
Since David was a marine-biologist and
loved the freedom of the seas, he traveled
and was away most days the summer
we were together. I went out of my way
to see him when it was convenient for
him. I became anxious and crazy and my
lovely, relaxed energy started to become
one of desperation and needing to get his
attention. David started pulling away more
and more. Eventually, I stopped reaching
out because it felt imbalanced, ignored,
rejected and incomplete.
I dated many, many guys after David and
I observed the times when I was overly
available, feeling anxious, clingy and needy
for their attention – I was giving away my
power. The problem was I hadn’t worked on
myself. I had a very needy mindset and I
derived way too much of my self-worth from
how men responded to me.
As empowered women, we all have all the
resources we need to survive available
to us within ourselves. This is our deep,
inner power.
It’s time to stop searching for love and
validation in the outside world. Here are 7
empowering ways to just that.
1. B E EMOTIONALLY WHOLE
Being emotionally independent means
that you take responsibility for your own
happiness. It means being realistic about
who’s in control of your happiness. As in
keeping clear of your individual identity so
you do not “lose yourself” in the other person.
The other person is not responsible for
making you happy. YOU are, and when
you follow and stay in control of your own
happiness, then your life is empowered.
2. STAND YOUR GROUND
Don’t let a guy disrespect your needs. You
do not have to put up with any bad behavior.
If he treats you in any way that’s not okay
with you, let him know. Don’t spiral and
over-analyze what you did wrong to be
disrespected.
If a guy flakes or cancels on a date and
gives you an insincere excuse, do you let
him know it’s okay and clear your schedule
to meet up another time?
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