Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Aug/Sept 2017 Aspire Mag Full Issue | Page 82
My darling, if you do this, you are shooting
yourself in the foot! Your intimate love
relationship is your primary relationship and
you’re destroying it whenever you give in to
this social norm of talking badly about your
partner to other people. (Yes, even if your
partner isn’t around to hear it!)
Now, I know you haven’t been intentionally
destroying your relationship – there’s no
shame or blame here – I just wanted to give
you a heads up about this dynamic today,
and give you the tool to turn it around!
Ready? Buckle up buttercup…
NO TALKING BADLY ABOUT YOUR
PARTNER TO ANYONE, EVER.
That’s right - if you want to create an
unshakable love, by definition, you cannot
speak badly about them to anyone, anytime.
After teaching this to so many students, I
can practically hear your next thoughts…
“What do you mean? I can never have
another bad thought about my partner, ever
again? I can never even be disappointed in
my partner, either??”
Ha! Nope, I’m definitely not saying that!
You’re human and of course you’re going to
have moments where you’re frustrated and
there’s kerfuffle. You’ll be unhappy and you’ll
want to complain to someone, “OMG! Can
you even believe what they did or said?”
I totally get that. Those are your feelings.
They’re normal and valid. However, during
those times you must make a choice for
how you will handle them, and these are
82
are your options if you want to build up your
relationship instead of tearing it down:
1
2
Go talk directly to your
partner about it, and resolve it.
Unfortunately, many people lack
the skillset to do so. That’s because
no one ever gave us a relationship
education and taught us these skills!
It’s part of the reason so many
relationships are in a hot mess!
Bring your challenge to an
appropriate person to get help
navigating past it. This can either
be a coach mentor like myself,
or a community of like-minded
people who are all working toward
developing themselves in order to
transform their relationship.
NOTE: It is CRITICAL that if you go
to speak to a mentor, coach or tribe about
your challenge, you do NOT speak badly
about your partner to them!
In a community like ours, we understand that
WE have the power to fix our relationships!
You want to find a place where there’s no
blaming of partners allowed, ever, because
they understand how destructive it is to
your relationship and how disempowering
it is for you!
www.AspireMAG.net | August / September 2017