Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) April/May 2020 Aspire Magazine FULL Issue | Page 67

SAYING NO TO SOMEONE ELSE IS SAYING YES TO YOURSELF. We all have a limited store of life force energy in what I call our energy tanks. It’s like the gas tank in your car, you put gas in and drive, but you don’t expect your car to drive with no gas in the tank. And yet as empaths, sensitives and healers, we often expect ourselves to give, give and give some more without adding fuel back into our own tanks. I am sure you have experienced the burn out that happens when we habitually and chronically over give. Learning to fill up ourselves first takes diligence and a kind of discipline that runs contrary to our generous natures. “I would love to help you, and right now I am committed to other things.” Here are three powerful steps that help us protect our energy and keep our personal energy tanks filled up. “I am sorry, I just don’t have the time for that right now, but I am so thrilled that you are doing that.” Learn When and How to Say No And the classy and super powerful “No thank you,” which is good in nearly every circumstance. It sounds easy, but this can be the hardest step for empaths. Since we have deeply loving and generous hearts, it feels mean to say no. And yet we need to honor our own boundary by saying no. Saying no to someone else is saying yes to yourself. I have learned to never give an answer in the moment, since I will almost always say yes and sometimes regret it. I need time and space to really feel whether I am a yes or no to something. Try saying this: “Let me look at my calendar and I will let you know tomorrow.” And truly contemplate it. Do you have the time? Are you feeling the pull to do it? Does it resonate with you? It’s also crucial to learn some very nice ways to say no. Truthfully, I practiced these in the mirror until I felt very comfortable saying them. Practice Energy Management Techniques Once we get good at saying no, we still need to learn how to stay in our bubble. Empaths are the psychic sponges of the world, we absorb emotional and physical energy from others so we need to practice daily grounding, clearing and protecting techniques. There are many ways to do this, but my preference is to use a simple breathing technique. 1 G  round yourself by taking a deep breath into your heart and belly. 67