Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) April/May 2017 Aspire Mag Full Issue | Page 73

Without shifting your perspective, you can try to use the tools and strategies that I can teach you, but you would be EFFORTING, pushing and trying to have GOOD behavior to create a shift, and that doesn’t last long term. Plus, have you ever had someone “say” something really nice to you with a smile on their face but their energy was screaming “I’m just pretending to be nice and smile…I’m pissed!” Yeah, it’s the same for your partner. When you TRY to say the right thing, but your energy is screaming “I’m so f’in frustrated with this”, they “hear” your energy loud and clear. The tools won’t work if you are still stuck in blame. Everyone can see through your fake smile and nice words, they can feel your energy. So, what’s the solution? Well, luckily for you, the REAL solution is to actually SHIFT how you feel about what’s going on! I say “lucky” because when you shift how you feel about it, you will actually FEEL the peace and happiness from doing this work. And then the tools and strategies that you implement will be effective in creating change! So, at this point you may be wondering, “How do I shift my perspective?” Great question. This is part of what my husband Paul and I refer to as “doing the work”. For Step Two of our system, Shifting, it’s all about learning how to SEE your relationship differently, see men differently, see women differently, and see yourself differently! I’ll give you an example. Recently, a woman going through a challenging time in her marriage, posted in our Facebook Community about a struggle she was having (Let’s call her Amy). Amy described a very common pattern where her husband would come home from work, and when she would try to talk to him about the important things that were going on, he wouldn’t respond. Amy would escalate her demand to talk, follow him, try to ask a different way… no response. She was asking for our help because she felt like she could no longer tolerate his rudeness and how unimportant she was. Within the same week, one of the students in our program posted about a very similar scenario, but after going through a few of our modules, and experiencing a shift in her perspective, her post was very different. (Let’s call her Beth) As Beth described it, she had an A-ha moment. Thanks to understanding some of the differences between masculine and feminine energy, she now realized that all those years that her husband would shut her out and not respond to her when she was challenging him, Beth had NO idea that SHE was the one that was triggering him to close off. Beth was celebrating that she could now SEE so clearly, that when SHE was in her masculine energy and confronted her husband about things that they needed to talk about, she was triggering him to shut 73 IF THERE’S ONE THING I KNOW FOR SURE, UNTIL YOU SHIFT YOUR PERSPECTIVE, NOTHING CAN CHANGE FOR YOU!