Sound familiar? This keeps us trapped in survival mode, where happiness feels like something we have to work for.

But here’ s the liberating truth: you can step out of this triangle anytime you choose. Your happiness doesn’ t depend on other people changing, on achieving specific outcomes, or on avoiding life’ s inevitable challenges. The moment you truly get this, you reclaim your power as the conscious creator of your own experience.

One of the biggest shifts in my understanding of flow came through what seemed like a nightmare. When my infant son needed emergency open heart surgery, we were surrounded by fear and pity from everyone from well-meaning hospital staff to our closest friends and family members.

But my husband and I made a choice that changed everything. Instead of getting pulled into that energy of fear, we stayed focused on what we wanted: our baby boy home healthy for Christmas. That focused alignment— even in the middle of a crisis— didn’ t just sustain us through a terrifying time. It actually expanded our capacity for joy and gratitude.

Here’ s what I realized: contrast isn’ t the enemy of happiness. Those challenging, unwanted experiences? They’ re actually serving our fulfillment by showing us exactly what we do want. Every difficult situation becomes a catalyst, helping us develop the spiritual strength to maintain our alignment even when life gets messy.

When you notice yourself feeling stuck, frustrated, or just off, try this simple practice:

Step 1:

Acknowledge where you are without fighting it. Resistance only creates more resistance.

Step 2:

Take five conscious breaths and ask yourself,“ What would flow feel like right now?” Maybe it’ s ease, maybe it’ s trust, maybe it’ s simply the willingness to let go of needing to control the outcome.

Step 3:

Consciously invite this energy into your body and mind. Feel it filling you up from the inside out.