Something interesting and infinitely wonderful can happen at midlife . Knowing there is no knight in shining armor and nothing to save you , you save yourself . You mend your own life now because you ’ re running out of time .

Self-compassion is both a life-vest and a parachute . It will save you when you face a crisis AND support you when you step outside your comfort zone and take risks to create a bolder , more beautiful life . Plus , self-compassion can be learned . Practice it regularly and you ’ ll increase self-love , which is key to Rock Your Midlife . When you love yourself , you stop doing things that insult your soul and you start to attract what is truly in your best interest !

According to self-compassion research Kristin Neff , there are three elements to practicing self-compassion :

When you are suffering or stressed be nice to and easy with yourself . Notice your self-talk . Ask : Are your being kind and supportive or harsh and judgmental ? Make a list of self-care practices that you already do or would like to do . When you are suffering pull out the list and give yourself what you need .

Remember everyone suffers and makes mistakes . We are perfectly imperfect . It ’ s part of the human condition . When you realize this , you feel less isolated and alone .

Cultivate awareness around your own feelings especially when you are struggling or suffering . Rather than ignoring your feelings or throwing a pity party , accept them and then practice # 1 .