which is the most important relationship you will ever have . Partners , parents , children , friends will come and go , but you ’ ll spend on average about thirty thousand days with yourself .
Unfortunately , we ’ re often nicer to other ’ s than ourselves . However , you can flip the script and learn to treat yourself like a good friend by practicing self-compassion , the “ how-to ” of self-love . Self-love isn ’ t just about getting massages and mani-pedis and lighting lavender candles . Being kind to yourself especially when you are suffering is how you deeply love yourself .
And love is free and abundant . Regardless of your relationship status , you can be in love 24 / 7 — madly , passionately in love with yourself . You don ’ t need the perfect partner to feel loved , nourished , and whole . The only person who can fill your inner void is you .
Step 3 : Energize Yourself
Riding the waves of menopause and midlife can leave you dizzy and exhausted . There ’ s so much to do and so many people to care for . Your plate can overflow , especially if you ’ ve forgotten how to say no to others and yes to yourself .
What ’ s exciting is that you can change daily habits and behaviors to feel more energized . Start by working on five areas : body , mind , heart , spirit , and relationships . To determine which to prioritize take my Raise Your Vibe Quiz ( raiseyourvibequiz . com ).
As you get energized , remember two things . Change from a place of self-love not selfloathing . This is key because when you work on yourself from a place of self-loathing , focusing on changing what you don ’ t want rather than moving towards what you do , you drag what ’ s wrong with you into your future reality , and then that ’ s what shows up . Second , be patient . Making lasting energetic shifts takes time .
Start where you are . Examine your lifestyle , and ask : what changes would feel expansive , not punitive ? Move more and sit less ? Prioritize sleep ? Scheduling self-care ? Eating more produce and less junk ? Starting a meditation , breathwork , or yoga practice ? Then set SMART ( specific , measurable , achievable , realistic , and time-related ) goals . If you ’ re not happy with your energy level take action .
Step 4 : Reprogram Your Brain
Due to neuroplasticity , you can literally change brain structure and chemistry . The key is balancing four neurotransmitters -- serotonin ( responsible for feeling calm , optimistic , and confident ), dopamine ( responsible for keeping you motivated and energized ), and cortisol ( responsible for revving you up when necessary ), oxytocin ( the love hormone ).
There are strategies to boost brain health and improve mood , memory , and concentration . Here are five 1 ) Unplug . To improve focus and concentration , reduce social media and electronics use especially prior to bedtime . 2 ) Enjoy brain-boosting activities like reading , listening to music , or doing puzzles . 3 ) Exercise . It enhances memory , increases brain volume , and decreases how age-related brain changes impact cognition . 4 ) Be mindful . You ’ ll improve memory and reduce mind-wandering . 5 ) Declutter mentally to reduce stress and overwhelm and enhance focus .