The ART of

BY KELLEY GRIMES , MSW

our own oxygen mask before helping others , then why is it so hard to put this wisdom into action ? The answer lies with the false belief so many women hold that to have value , we must take care of other people .

Traditionally women were socialized to nurture others and attached their value and worth to this role . Over time more roles were added to our expectations of women , including working outside the home , volunteering in the community , holding leadership roles of different kinds , and being the best mother , daughter , partner , and friend that they can be .

The expectation that women should be everything to everyone results in women feeling that they never measure up . I have often heard women say that there must be something wrong with them that they cannot meet these unattainable standards . These unrealistic expectations fuel the cycle of giving more and more , which leads to more