BY CAROLYN PHINNEY

Not in the surface-level way people talk about it- wanting more, bill fears, etc. I mean money was always there in the background of my life like static. A constant thought. A pressure. A loop that never fully shut off. An obsession even.

If I wasn’ t thinking about how to make more of it, I was thinking about how to hold onto it. Even when things were okay, some part of me was still scanning, bracing, calculating, preparing for the next hit.

And because I work in transformation, I had already done a lot of healing around money. I understood limiting beliefs. I understood the connection between trauma and the nervous system. I had done real work. Deep work.

I had spent years inside the very methodology I use and teach- Identity Architecture- excavating the foundation of my own belief system. And still, there was something underneath all of it that I could not quite get to.