First , what are your reasons for wanting to reconcile ? Getting curious about your responses to the following questions can shed light on your healing journey from estrangement as a parent .

Being honest with yourself is the first step . Do you want to repair the relationship ? Do you want to feel heard and validated in your choices ? Are you looking to get even ? Do you want a relationship with your grandchildren ?

There are any number of reasons why a parent wants to reconcile , and being prepared with a response for yourself and your estranged adult daughter should they ask is an important first step . both of which would be problematic for the adult daughter who made this choice in response to feeling that something wasn ’ t right . Going backward to sameness would be a significant issue for them . What do you want the reconciled relationship to look like ? Recognize that the relationship could be better or worse , but most likely just different .

As you attempt to reengage your adult daughter , what offerings or compromises can you accept ? Are you open to phone calls to start ? Are you willing to have a relationship with your son-in-law but not speak to your estranged daughter ? Are you pursuing a relationship with your grandchildren , even if it means you aren ’ t on speaking terms with their mother ? Knowing your own boundaries in the reconciliation process will help both you and your daughter navigate the testing phase of reconciliation .

FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS

It ’ s not uncommon to hear folks say that they either want everything to go back to the way it was , or they want to start over ,