1. Name the Pattern Without Shame
2. Separate Chemistry from Compatibility
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It’ s because an old story is still running the show.
The good news? Love stories are not stuck— they are living narratives— and they can be rewritten.
Below are six essential ways to begin rewriting your love story from the inside out without your past traumas and heartbreaks shaping the details.
1. Name the Pattern Without Shame
Rewriting your love story begins with honesty— not self-criticism.
Many people already know their patterns or suspect them. These are the ones I hear most often:
•“ I choose emotionally unavailable partners.”
•“ I lose myself in relationships.”
•“ I stay too long.”
•“ I leave too quickly.”
•“ I fall hard and fast.”
But insight alone doesn’ t change the pattern. What does help is naming it without blame. Most of my clients feel shame when they offer up these patterns, as if they have done something wrong.
Your patterns once made sense. They protected you. They were intelligent responses to earlier experiences when love didn’ t feel safe, reliable, or consistent.
Instead of asking,“ What’ s wrong with me?” Try asking,“ What was this pattern protecting me from at the time?”
When shame dissolves, curiosity becomes possible— and curiosity opens the door to change.
2. Separate Chemistry from Compatibility
One of the most misunderstood aspects of romantic attraction is chemistry.
Chemistry is not proof of alignment.
FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS
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