By the time you notice any of the above behaviors , you are already triggered . So , it is time to stop and reverse engineer what is going on . Start by acknowledging what state you are in . Is it Flight or Flight , which is a state of mobilization , or Freeze , which is a state of immobilization . Fawn is a blend of the two . Once you know what state you are in , you can get curious about it .

What was happening right before you noticed your trigger ? How are feeling in this moment ? What are you sensing in your body ? What are your thoughts ? Emotions ? Notice them and breath with them . Jot them down or journal about them . Get to know the pattern .

Instead of judging yourself for having those thoughts and feelings , be compassionate and release the impulse to blame or shame yourself or anyone else . Instead ask , what is the positive intent of this state ? ( Spoiler alert – it ’ s to keep you safe !). Assess whether the level of danger or threat you feel matches the situation . Then , ask what is a more effective way to handle this situation ?

You don ’ t have to do this alone . In fact , having support and outside resources can help you regulate your nervous system , so you ’ ll get triggered less often , catch it faster , and have more tools to work through it .