August/September 2025 Aspire Magazine FULL Issue | Page 110

For instance, some common boundaries that‘ so-called’ relationship experts preach are to“ not let anyone talk to you that way’ or‘ if you aren’ t going to respect me, I can’ t be in a relationship with you’ or‘ do not raise your voice or take that tone with me’ or‘ I can’ t be in a relationship with someone who hurts my feelings like that’, etc. The list goes on and on.

It sounds really good, right? I mean, that would be really nice.

Except there’ s two HUGE problems with boundaries.

Before you go blaming them … hang on. In human dynamics, the reality is, trying to control someone else by giving them a rule is a fictional fantasy. Even if the other person really wants to stop hurting your feelings. Telling them“ don’ t do it” isn’ t a real solution to the kerfuffle.

I’ ve worked with hundreds of thousands of people over the last 15 years. Humans are wired differently. No one is better or worse than anyone else. But we are different. And these differences cause real kerfuffles.

In today’ s world, instead of making ONE human wrong for WHO they ARE and demanding that they change or bend to your will … we can elevate our skill set instead.

The truth is, without anyone being wrong for how they are wired, there are proven tools that build a BRIDGE between two people. Creating harmony and peace without anyone having to change who they are.