Aug/Sep 2020 Aspire Magazine FULL Issue Aug/Sep 2020 Aspire Magazine FULL Issue | Page 62

“Being human means having emotions, reacting to the ups and downs of fate as well as to your own shifting perceptions.” – TINA GILBERTSON they’re worse, either. They don’t assume everything they do is great; you’ll notice they get very upset if they fail at some task they’ve set for themselves. They just haven’t been injured enough yet to believe there’s something inherently wrong with them. People with healthy self-esteem trust in their basic goodness, and although they strive to do well, they don’t expect themselves to be great at everything. They try their best when they do something, and they refuse to see failure as proof that they’re unworthy human beings. Instead, they see it as a signal that they need to do something differently next time. For these lucky folks, trying and failing builds self-esteem better than not trying at all. Feeling Is Healing Parents hate it when their children are in pain; yet when their children hurt them, the human being inside the parent may feel like lashing out in self-defense. What a complex experience. You love your child, but she’s wounding you with her cruel or unreasonable behavior. She’s your child — younger, with less experience and maturity — yet she seems so powerful. If you feel a kaleidoscope of emotions, you’re normal. Being human means having emotions, reacting to the ups and downs of fate as well as to your own shifting perceptions. Excerpted from the book Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child. Copyright ©2020 by Tina Gilbertson. Printed with permission from New World Library — www.newworldlibrary.com. Tina Gilbertson - Tina Gilbertson is a psychotherapist and author of Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child. Her work has been featured in Forbes, Fast Company, Glamour, Real Simple and Redbook. In 2019, Tina cofounded www.ReconnectionClub.com, offering education, community, and support to help estranged parents repair their relationships with their adult children. Originally from Vancouver, B.C., Canada, she now lives in Denver, CO. Find out more about her work at www.TinaGilbertson.com. 62 www.AspireMAG.net | August / September 2020