Aug/Sep 2020 Aspire Magazine FULL Issue Aug/Sep 2020 Aspire Magazine FULL Issue | Page 62
“Being human means
having emotions,
reacting to the ups and
downs of fate as well
as to your own shifting
perceptions.”
– TINA GILBERTSON
they’re worse, either. They don’t assume
everything they do is great; you’ll notice
they get very upset if they fail at some task
they’ve set for themselves. They just haven’t
been injured enough yet to believe there’s
something inherently wrong with them.
People with healthy self-esteem trust in their
basic goodness, and although they strive to
do well, they don’t expect themselves to be
great at everything. They try their best when
they do something, and they refuse to see
failure as proof that they’re unworthy human
beings. Instead, they see it as a signal that
they need to do something differently next
time. For these lucky folks, trying and failing
builds self-esteem better than not trying at all.
Feeling Is Healing
Parents hate it when their children are in
pain; yet when their children hurt them,
the human being inside the parent may
feel like lashing out in self-defense. What
a complex experience. You love your child,
but she’s wounding you with her cruel or
unreasonable behavior. She’s your child —
younger, with less experience and maturity
— yet she seems so powerful. If you feel a
kaleidoscope of emotions, you’re normal.
Being human means having emotions,
reacting to the ups and downs of fate as well
as to your own shifting perceptions.
Excerpted from the book Reconnecting with Your
Estranged Adult Child. Copyright ©2020 by Tina
Gilbertson. Printed with permission from New World
Library — www.newworldlibrary.com.
Tina Gilbertson - Tina Gilbertson is a psychotherapist and author
of Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child. Her work has been
featured in Forbes, Fast Company, Glamour, Real Simple and Redbook.
In 2019, Tina cofounded www.ReconnectionClub.com, offering
education, community, and support to help estranged parents
repair their relationships with their adult children. Originally from
Vancouver, B.C., Canada, she now lives in Denver, CO. Find out
more about her work at www.TinaGilbertson.com.
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