72 www. AspireMAG. net | October / November 2018
The best way to handle your critic, no matter how persistent or bratty she gets, is with love and compassion. When you join forces instead of fighting against her, there’ s no stopping you. You become a powerful team!
To best partner with your critic, focus on welldefined steps.“ Winging it” doesn’ t work for her. She is easily distracted, and therefore so are you. Eliminate as many distractions as possible and work within the parameters you set. To help her get comfortable with change, take things in super small steps.
If you find yourself procrastinating, break down the action you’ re trying to do; chances are it’ s still too big for your critic. She needs evidence that she’ ll be safe to get on board, so don’ t expect her to take big leaps out of the gate.
The other thing she needs is to feel heard— hence the persistent squawking. This part is key. If ever she feels dismissed or ignored, chaos ensues. This chaos can take many shapes— more clutter, a nasty head cold that knocks you down for a week, a distracted mind, aches and pains, a family member or friend telling you not to get rid of this or that, or a sexy invitation for the exact time you had scheduled your clutter clearing— anything that will stop you in your tracks and throw a wrench in your clutter-clearing plans so she can continue on her merry way and not have her status quo disrupted.
When you do finally settle in to tackle your first bit of clutter from this perspective, you’ re likely going to feel a lot of pushback from her. Instead of ignoring it and diving in, take some time to acknowledge what’ s coming up as you consider starting the sorting or clearing. The first clutter you may need to clear is your resistance.
Sit with it. Journal about it. Speak to someone safe. Give it a voice. This is what helps her settle down.
You may be the one doing the heavy lifting in the relationship, but that’ s not to say you’ re in charge all the time. You need each other. Your inner critic needs structure, commitment, and strategy, and you need her creativity, playfulness, and inquisitiveness, so when she’ s raising the red flags, take a moment to acknowledge her. Doing so will make you much more successful in your clearing.
In fact, I suggest you make it a regular part of your clutter-clearing routine. Each time you get ready to sort physical clutter or take steps to address emotional clutter, take a couple of minutes to check in with your resistance and see what’ s going on.
Oftentimes, that check-in is all you need to remove the current block.
© 2018. Kerri Richardson. An excerpt from What Your Clutter Is Trying to Tell You: Uncover the Message in the Mess and Reclaim Your Life.
Kerri Richardson- Kerri is a lifestyle designer, coach, and the bestselling author of What Your Clutter Is Trying to Tell You: Uncover the Message in the Mess and Reclaim Your Life. In more than 17 years, Kerri has worked with thousands of people helping them quiet the noise and clear the clutter so they can stop playing small and start living big. You can find her online at www. KerriRichardson. com.
72 www. AspireMAG. net | October / November 2018