Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Oct/Nov 2017 Aspire Mag Full Issue: Feminine Wisdo | Page 69

That’s why Step 5 is Start Anew. Over the years Paul and I have developed a 5-Step Forgiveness Process™, which has helped thousands of students find freedom from the past! I hope one day, you will give yourself the gift of experiencing our entire 5 step process! Today, I’m going to share three key pieces with you so you can begin to release any past hurts or betrayals, start anew in your relationship, and create your unshakable love! Whether you need to forgive yourself, your partner, an ex, or anyone else in your life, this process works! It’s time to wipe the slate clean and start anew. You deserve this freedom! It’s time to understand what forgiveness really is. Whenever I tell my students that anything can be forgiven, many are skeptical and some are downright unwilling, “Stacey, I can’t let that go - you have no idea what they did to me!” And I get it - some people have been through really horrific, traumatic experiences. Please understand I’m not making light of that at all!! Very often, this resistance to forgive comes from a misunderstanding of what forgiveness really is. 1 The First Obstacle to Forgiveness What IS forgiveness? Years ago I was listening to Oprah talk about forgiveness and she shared a definition that blew me away!! It totally changed my perspective on forgiveness and empowered me in a whole new way! Today, I’m going to pay that gift forward by sharing it with you. The true definition of forgiveness is: “FORGIVENESS IS GIVING UP THE HOPE THAT THE PAST COULD HAVE BEEN ANY DIFFERENT THAN IT ACTUALLY WAS.” – OPRAH WINFREY Too many people suffer because they believe that forgiveness means saying what the other person did to them is fine; as if they’re saying, “Oh, yeah…that thing that you did? It’s ok.” That’s NOT what forgiveness is! Forgiveness is simply giving up the HOPE that the past could have been any different than it was. Many people obsess over thoughts like, “They could have…. They should have… If only they did _____, …then they wouldn’t have hurt me and I wouldn’t still be suffering!” The problem is, we cannot go back and change the past. None of us can. We are powerless to change what has already happened. It’s over and done. 69 Starting Anew is about wiping the slate clean, releasing all hurts, betrayals, pain, and things not yet forgiven. By definition, when there are things that have come between you, it creates separateness and distance. You can’t get to a place of intimacy and unshakable love if there are things driving you apart and un-forgiveness is one of the biggest things I see destroying relationships today!