Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Oct/Nov 2017 Aspire Mag Full Issue: Feminine Wisdo | Page 56

According to the experts I spoke with when writing my book, The Secret Lives of Introverts, extroverts have a more active dopamine reward system than introverts. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter, and it helps control the brain’s pleasure and reward centers. Having a more active dopamine reward system means that extroverts get more energized and excited by the possibility of reward than introverts. So, extroverts are more driven to, say, strike up a conversation with a stranger or hang out at the bar until last call. Of course, introverts care about having relationships, eating, and getting ahead at work, too. But, simply put, introverts just aren’t as interested in pursuing the things that extroverts chase. Having a less active dopamine reward system also means that introverts may find certain levels of stimulation — like noise and activity — to be punishing and tiring. This explains why the introvert in our bar example had fun for a little while, but felt drained as he became overstimulated. Is It Bad to Care Less About Rewards? Introverts don’t seek rewards to the same degree that extroverts do. Is this a bad thing? Not necessarily, in my opinion. We all have that one friend who partied too hard and paid a price. Or the friend who focused so much on getting ahead in life that she became a workaholic, compromising her health and relationships. These are people who chased rewards — hard. Instead of looking for outside status, introverts tend to turn inward. They research a topic simply for the sheer joy of learning 56 something new. Job-wise, they seek a calling that is more than just a paycheck. They desire depth and intimacy in their relationships, a connection that is mind-to- mind and heart-to-heart. This isn’t to say that all extroverts are shallow and all introverts are deep. It’s not that black and white. Sometimes extroverts pursue quiet, intrinsically rewarding activities, and sometimes introverts seek status and other external rewards. I’d argue that a healthy, successful life for anyone includes a mix of both the introvert’s way and the extrovert’s way. When writing my book, The Secret Life of Introverts, I asked introverts to tell me about the things that motivated and energized them. They all mentioned low-key activities, like a solo shopping trip, a meaningful conversation with a friend, finishing a good book, or expressing themselves through art. If it weren’t for the introvert’s less active dopamine reward system, introverts probably wouldn’t be doing these types of activities. The introvert’s way isn’t about chasing rewards, but rather Read Online! about seeking meaning. Jenn Granneman - Jenn is the author of the book, The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World and the founder of IntrovertDear. com. She also blogs for Psychology Today, and her writing has been featured on Quiet Revolution, The Huffington Post, The Mighty, The Muse, and elsewhere. For most of her life, she felt weird, different, and out of place because of her quiet ways; now, she writes about introversion because she doesn’t want other introverts to feel the way she did. Jenn lives in Minnesota; to get personal updates from her, you can follow her on Facebook. www.AspireMAG.net | October / November 2017