Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Jun/July 2019 Aspire Magazine FULL Issue | Page 62
This is one of the many ways reactivity shows
up on social media. Reactivity is how you
make the uncomfortable, comfortable. The
things you do, say (and not say) to avoid what
you are feeling. You see one of the reasons
you react to something when someone else
may not is because you have an undigested
emotion inside of you. Yes, somewhere along
the way you may have come across those
same feelings, alone, rejected, unattractive,
and unworthy. Only instead of allowing
yourself to feel them, you choose to ignore
or deflect yourself from them by responding
quickly (I am so happy for you), that is until
they reinvigorate themselves through some
damn social feed. Ugh.
You see similar to food, your emotions, all
of them (even the so called “bad” ones) can
give you energy. However, this can only
happen when you assimilate them. Once
you gain the energy from feeling, what once
triggered you, becomes neutralized. Without
energy your social media feed can become
a platform for revisiting, rehashing reactivity
leaving you feeling bloated with yuck!
It isn’t until you give yourself a chance to feel
rather than react to your emotions, the thing
that triggers you (e.g. social posts, thoughts
of your ex-husband) will begin to subside.
In other words, it is not about the post, it is
about emotions looking to be completed.
This means you take a second to notice the
heaviness in your heart, tension in your neck
or lump in your throat. Here are five way to
release triggered responses:
1
Know when you are being triggered.
Triggers happen when you get a sudden
charge of reactivity. They most often reveal
themselves through thinking, or ruminating
over a subject. Triggers are what get you
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to make a quick remark or comment. Never
ever respond from a trigger.
2 30 Second Pause. It can take anywhere
between 30-90 seconds to digest an
emotion. This means you allow yourself
to feel (rather than think about) what is
coming up. Put your phone down, take
your hands off your computer. Stretch
your arms over your head. Set your gaze
in another direction with your eyes. This
will help bring you back to the here and
now (in your body).
3 Breathe. Keep in mind one breath means
you take an inhale and an exhale. When
you are under reactivity it is likely you are
over inhaling which will only inflate those
toxic thoughts.
4 Notice Sensations. Reactivity feeds off
numbness. This means you have little
movement (sensation) inside your body.
Before you respond to a post, take a
moment and tune into the sights, sounds
and smells around you.
5 Be Realistic. Keep in mind, social media
posts represent a moment in time.
Consider you may actually be witnessing
someone else in a trigger. They too may
be quick to post rather than feel what
is coming up inside themselves to be
acknowledged and healed.
Sherianna Boyle - Sherianna Sherianna Boyle is the author of
Emotional Detox: 7 Steps to Releasing Toxicity & Energizing Joy and her
forthcoming book Emotional Detox for Anxiety. She is an Emotional
Detox therapeutic coach, adjunct Psychology Professor and founder
of the C.L.E.A.N.S.E Method. ® She’ll be teaching at Kripalu Health
& Yoga Center in January 2020. Her books, courses and services can
be found at www.sheriannaboyle.com.