Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Jun/July 2019 Aspire Magazine FULL Issue | Page 33

Establishing energetic boundaries with those closest to you is not always easy because you are more sensitive to the emotional pull they have on your heart. You may even want their happiness more than they want it for themselves. And, you can become so involved in trying to generate it for them that the effort takes a toll on you. At its best, the resulting energetic drain makes you vulnerable to compassion fatigue. At its worst, it can stress your heart, resulting in exhaustion, anxiety, or depression, and increased blood pressure or cardiac disease. “Compassionate people are boundaried people.” By setting energetic boundaries, you become a more loving, compassionate person. Such “love fences” allow you to compassionately engage with others, but still protect yourself from any unwanted energy. It is possible to be loving with another person while still holding them accountable. Not holding them accountable for their energy or choices actually impedes their personal and spiritual growth. – BRENÉ BROWN To disengage from people who easily drain you, you need to become aware of what triggers your reactions and take time to energetically detox after the encounter. In these situations, such “energy bullies,” can push your emotional buttons and then use your reaction to bring power and energy to themselves. Zip up your protective energetic suit by practicing these 5 steps: Being compassionate doesn’t mean you have to engage in the negative energy or process that someone is discharging. Zipping up your energetic suit keeps you from taking on their stuff, and instead support them from a place where you feel centered and empowered. You can still be compassionate, but refuse to play a part in their drama. 1. For instance, when someone wants to vent about a particular issue, you can listen with an open heart, but refrain from taking on their process, giving unsolicited advice, or trying to fix the situation. When you zip up your energetic suit before becoming a sounding board, you can lovingly support while remaining calm and nonreactive. When you feel anxious or emotionally vulnerable, take a few deep breaths, drop into your heart space, and check in with yourself. This pause provides a break from the situation to gain healthy detachment. It allows you to drop into your heart space and tune in to what’s going on within you. This interrupts any knee-jerk reaction so you G  ive yourself the permission to pause. 33