Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Feb/Mar 2020 Aspire Magazine FULL Issue | Page 27
Our parents, because of their own emotional
insecurity and immaturity, couldn’t give us the
unconditional love and security we needed.
For this reason, we became vulnerable to
picking up their unhealthy coping patterns.
The taproot of these co-dependent patterns
is the need to feel secure and worthwhile.
Through these patterns, we look for
affirmation from others that we are lovable,
instead of seeing ourselves as a source of
unconditional love and acceptance.
The complete acceptance of your own
being, is the foundation of feeling secure
within yourself. Yet, when your experience
is constantly questioned or invalidated
by your caregivers early on, you begin to
doubt yourself and your worthiness. This
undermines your ability to trust and take
responsibility for yourself and your choices.
As human beings, we are creatures of habit
so we easily adopt unhealthy patterns that,
when repeated habitually, overshadow
who we are at soul level. These patterns
overload our heart center creating stress
and ultimately, dis-ease. Breaking out of our
unhealthy patterns, on the other hand, allows
us to trust ourselves, channel our energy
positively, and make discerning choices that
support our soul’s journey.
Some of the co-dependent patterns triggered
by insecurity are people-pleasing and
approval-seeking. Automatically yielding to
AS WE REACH A
HIGHER LEVEL
To feel secure, children need from their
caregivers: unconditional love, acceptance,
and to be seen, heard, and acknowledged
for who they really are, not for what they
do or accomplish. Yet, because of the time
period and their levels of awareness, most
of us were born to emotionally insecure and
immature parents.
OF SPIRITUAL
DEVELOPMENT, WE
HAVE TO DO THE
INNER HEALING WORK
TO FREE OURSELVES
FROM THE SHACKLES
OF INSECURITY.
the desires of others compromises your
heart’s desires and reinforces being co-
dependent on others. When you focus on
whatever it takes to please others, even
if it means diminishing what you cherish,
you deplete the energies you need for co-
creating what you want in your own life.
Self-talk such as “I must or I should” can get
you into situations where you feel obligated
to please others. For example, the pattern
of people-pleasing can be triggered when
someone calls and asks you for a favor
without telling you what they have in mind.
You feel obligated to answer “yes,” leaving
you vulnerable to committing to something
in which you may have no interest. In such
situations, pause so you can recognize the
pattern, then respond by asking if you can call
them back. Affirm to yourself that you always
have the power of choice, then call the person
back and inform them of your preference.
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