Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Dec19/Jan20 Aspire Mag FINAL | Page 61
Researchers in the emerging field of post-
traumatic growth suggest the following five
practices that predict a person’s success
at bouncing forward: dealing with, healing
from, and moving beyond any potentially
traumatizing event into new strengths for
coping, new learning, new possibilities for
discovery and growth, deeper connections
with people and community, and a deeper
sense of meaning and purpose for living.
1
Accepting Reality
Whatever has happened, it’s not fair. It never
should have happened, but it did. The first
step, of accepting what happened, draws on
all the practices of mindful awareness and
compassionate self-acceptance, both of the
event and of our perceptions and reactions
to the event. “I’m alive! I get to deal with this.”
2
Turning to
Other People
When you feel vulnerable, other people—
in person, in memory, in imagination—can
provide safe havens where you don’t have
to keep it together or take care of anyone
else. This gives you a respite until you can
deploy the tools you have practiced using
to return to your inner equilibrium and begin
healing and dealing.
People can also be resources, providing
support in the form of encouragement,
practical help, and safety nets. People can
help you work around and work through
whatever difficulty you’re facing for however
long it takes.
3
Drawing on the Positive
and Seeing Possibilities
The direct, measurable outcome of practicing
gratitude, kindness, compassion, love, joy,
tranquility, and contentment is resilience:
openness to the big picture and optimism
about the future. The direct, measurable
outcome of choosing to approach life’s
challenges from a growth mindset —
seeking to learn and trusting that you can
learn — is resilience. “Maintain a positive
outlook” and “See the glass half full rather
than half empty” are not clichés. They are
commonsense wisdom backed by science.
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WHEN YOU FEEL VULNERABLE, OTHER PEOPLE—
IN PERSON, IN MEMORY, IN IMAGINATION—CAN
PROVIDE SAFE HAVENS WHERE YOU DON’T HAVE TO
KEEP IT TOGETHER OR TAKE CARE OF ANYONE ELSE.