Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) DEC 2016 / JAN 2017 Aspire Mag Full Issue A Miracl | Page 69

This year I treated my mom to a day at the Bay Harbor Inn for a spa treatment and some mama and daughter sacred self-care. After a glorious Swedish massage and European facial, we relaxed in overstuffed down filled chairs drinking herbal tea and nibbling on a fresh bowl of ripe and sweet blackberries and strawberries. We were totally relaxed. I loved witnessing my mother receive this kind of 1st class nourishment. We reminisced about our lives, funny memories, sad memories. We discussed the twists, turns, and glory of motherhood and my biological father (her first husband), who passed away last November. Our sharing was wrapped in love, laughter, and some regret. Our day at the spa followed by the gourmet lunch we shared while overlooking the shores of Lake Michigan will forever hold a special place in my heart. My mom will be 74 next month. I always think of her (remember her) in her early 40’s around the time I was coming of age. My time with her in Bliss opened my eyes to the fleeting time we have left on this Earth together. From that day forward I promised to call her more often, pray for her more often, and visit with her more than a few times a year. During our time together, I realized that this gorgeous mother of mine is still carrying all of the “sins of her past “ and that no amount of absolution from the Catholic church, or living as a generous, compassionate, and loving woman has been able to free her from the cage of guilt and regret. She, like so many of us, often experiences a continuous loop of worry and shame about unconscious choices made in her past before she learned not to make them. This loop of suffering terrorizes us again and again if we don’t learn to let it go and move on. Part of healing the wounds we carry is learning to forgive ourselves and others, so we can release shame and guilt. We all deserve to digest our colorful or troubling past experiences so we can open ourselves up to more joy, abundance, and a lighter way of being. When we become attached to living in the past and try to measure up to perfection or sainthood, we will always find ourselves in despair and coming up short. Another observation made during our visit was how much of our time was spent telling tired, old stories that upon completion of our afternoon together I chose to put to rest once and for all. Sweet memories are one thing to call up, but hashing up sorrow and stories about my father have run their course. I no longer need to revisit the sadness around the loss of my first love or the fear around my mom being diagnosed with cancer or the unsafe 69 HEALTH & WELLNESS PART OF HEALING THE WOUNDS WE CARRY IS LEARNING TO FORGIVE OURSELVES AND OTHERS, SO WE CAN RELEASE SHAME AND GUILT.