Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) August/September 2015 Unleashing Your Magnificence | Page 55

Except that it wasn’t. Although I had a high paying job with all the perks, I felt unbelievably unfulfilled and unhappy. I tried to tell myself that all was well and that I should be happy doing what I was doing and in my relationship. For quite a while I believed what I kept telling m yself. I grew up believing I wasn’t an interesting person—that who I was and what I was doing in the world were unimportant. In my most intimate relationships, especially my One day my husband, the only man I had ever had a real relationship with, came home and told me he wasn’t sure he loved me and that he wanted to move out. I was devastated and shocked. I spent the next few months of my life feeling powerless, confused, frantic and lost. I spent countless hours sitting on my kitchen floor sobbing, not knowing what to do and wondering, “How did I get to this place in my life?” But, somewhere deep inside my heart I knew that I was supposed to be Accomplishing Magnificent Things. God designed me to live magnificently; shouldn’t I be doing that? There on my kitchen floor, I started to pay attention and dare to believe in the magnificence that awaited me, if only I’d embrace the necessary changes. “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.” –UNKNOWN marriage, I was frightened to rock the boat. I was terrified of how people would judge me. I was afraid that the life I had created couldn’t handle the truth of who I really am. I was right. I created a life that didn’t allow me to shine. I had to dull myself in order to fit in. I am now thankful for those moments of personal torture because they became the catalyst for me to wake myself up from the fog in which I was living my life. I spent a few months being a victim to what happened in my marriage. I realized that because I didn’t know who I was, I didn’t know how to set boundaries. I was not okay being alone. I had allowed this behavior to happen to me. I 55 WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH If you had known me in 2006, you would have thought that I had it all together. I was working in corporate human resources making good money. I had a nice house, a nice car and to all outward appearances, my marriage was rock solid. Everything looked great.