Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Aug/Sept 2017 Aspire Mag Sample Issue | Page 21
So I created a Self-Love Experiment.
What is it you might ask? The Self-Love
Experiment is a challenge I gave myself to
become my own best friend. It was born out
of a desperate need to feel more connected
to my life and myself. I wanted to know what
it was like to live at peace with myself in
my body and finally end the war I had been
carrying on inside myself for more than three
decades. Was it possible that this battle
might finally subside? I wanted to find out,
so I set out on a giant adventure.
Before my Self-Love Experiment, self-
criticism formed the backbone of my
relationship with myself. I was always
attacking myself in my mind, overanalyzing
everything I did. Nothing I ever did was
good enough for me.
I wanted to know what it would feel like to
go an entire day without criticizing myself
or feeling like I didn’t measure up. “Heck,” I
thought, “it would be nice to go even an hour
without this inner critic beating me down.”
So I set out to work on myself, for myself,
and by myself.
Creating a “Self-Love Experiment,” or
practice is essential for our happiness. It is
the foundation for everything we truly want
in life. There are certain steps you can take
to create your own fulfilling practice.
STEP 1:
Identify Your Patterns
For over three decades, I didn’t just dislike
myself—I actively went out of my way to
sabotage myself. Although I didn’t know it
at the time, I was indeed treating myself
like dirt. All through my twenties I picked
inappropriate men who were not right for me
in myriad ways: drug addicts, unavailable
men, or men who were super clingy and
liked the idea of me rather than who I really
was. All my relationships were superficial.
I overspent, overate, overworked, all in an
effort to avoid the sinking sensation that
perhaps there might be a gentler, kinder,
and more compassionate way to live. I
first had to identify my patterns in order to
break them and free myself from the self-
sabotaging behavior. Identify your patterns,
the situations you keep finding yourself in,
that no longer serves you. As you recognize
them you will begin to see how they are no
longer helping you and you can release
them for good.
STEP 2:
Talk About and to Yourself in
a Positive Light
When I looked around at my circle of
friends, my family, and in society, it became
obvious that most people don’t really love
themselves. It’s not that we don’t want to. We
just don’t know how. And most of us aren’t
talking about it. We aren’t walking around
saying we don’t love ourselves; rather, it’s
in our behavior, our way of existing. It’s in
our constant quest to be happier, skinner,
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CREATING A
“SELF-LOVE EXPERIMENT,”
OR PRACTICE IS ESSENTIAL
FOR OUR HAPPINESS.