Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Aug/Sept 2016 Aspire Mag Full Issue | Page 30
lamp. But a lamp must be plugged in for it to
shed any light.
With every prayer, we plug in to the light.
With every realization of our mistakes and
willingness to atone for them, we plug in to
the light. With every apology we give and
receive, we plug in to the light. With every act
of forgiveness, we plug in to the light. With
every five minutes of meditation, we plug in
to the light. With every thought of mercy, we
plug in to the light. With every moment of
faith, we plug in to the light. The search for
God is a search for light, and outside that
light we are sorrowful indeed. Within it, we
are healed and made whole.
FALLING INTO A DEEP,
DARK VALLEY
I know something about suffering, as
twice I’ve been diagnosed as clinically
depressed. I’ve also experienced personal
tragedy and the deaths of loved ones. I’ve
suffered through devastating betrayals and
disappointments. I’ve felt on more than
one occasion that I had lost any chance of
happiness I might have ever had. I’ve been
up close and personal with suffering, not only
in my own life, but also in the lives of many
others in the course of my career. Nothing
gives you x-ray vision into the suffering of
others like having suffered yourself. I know
the face of depression and I know it well.
As someone who has always viewed things
through a mystical lens—even before I really
understood what that meant—I’ve always
seen events in my life in the context of a
spiritual journey. I’ve viewed painful times
in my life as part of a mysterious unfolding,
as dark nights of my soul for which, no
30
matter how devastating, I needed to be fully
present. However deep my suffering, I didn’t
want to be anesthetized as I went through it.
Like an expectant mother who wants to give
birth naturally, rejecting drugs during labor
because she wants to experience “natural
childbirth,” I wanted to be fully available to
the depths of my pain. Why? Because I
knew it had something to teach me. I knew
that somehow, in some way, my suffering
would lead to a blazing new dawn in my
life—but only if I was willing to endure the
deep, dark night preceding it.
None of this is to romanticize suffering.
Sleepless nights, obsessive thoughts,
extreme mental and emotional pain are
nothing to view lightly. But my journeys
through deep sadness have ultimately shown
www.AspireMAG.net | August / September 2016