you ’ ve accomplished or over-emphasize your “ failures ”? Do you feel good about how far you ’ ve come or focus on what you think you “ should ” have achieved by now ?
Keep a journal for a few days and make a note every time that inner critic pipes up . This will be so eye-opening when you realize how often it ’ s happening . It ’ s like going around all day hitting yourself on the head with a bat and expecting to feel better !
You would NEVER say to a loved one the cruel things you say to yourself !
Imagine your two inner selves are in conflict with each other .
Your response would likely be full of compassion and words of encouragement .
You deserve the same . The love you would give to them is the love you should give yourself .
One is attacking and hostile . The other is the one that is receiving , who is hurt and upset by the horrible things you say to yourself .
Realize the attacking voice isn ’ t actually you . It ’ s a culmination of past messages your received from others , whether directly or overtly . Maybe a parent , schoolmate , teacher , boss , or a former romantic partner . We internalize these messages , and , over time , they become deeply ingrained beliefs . Once you separate the two inner selves , you can see the inner critic for what it really is , and start cultivating self-love and compassion .
If you wouldn ’ t say it to a friend , don ’ t say it to yourself .
Consider the words the inner critic says . If a dear friend , daughter , or loved one came to you with an issue ( like carrying extra weight and feeling like a failure ), what would you say to them ?
This takes practice . You ’ ve been talking shit to yourself for years and years and years and it ’ s become a pattern . As you strengthen the kinder inner self , the harsh voice will become quieter and quieter .
Just like exercise , it ’ s something you have to build up to , little by little . Practice self-love and compassion and take it slowly and you will start to see positive results – in both your internal and external worlds .
SARAH HAAS - Sarah is Women ’ s Weight Release Expert & Body Love Coach , Integrative Nutrition Health Coach , Certified Personal Trainer , Podcast Host and Speaker . She draws on her education and personal experiences as a fifty-year-old single mom and breast cancer survivor to walk alongside midlife women , and guiding and supporting them to become healthy , vibrant and unapologetically confident . Her holistic approach to creating overall health integrates nutrition , body movement , self-care , self-compassion , and body love to empower her clients to step into the sexy , authentic , joyful life they deserve . Download your “ No Excuses Lunch Guide to Boost Your Midlife Metabolism
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